Friday, May 12, 2006

My Child


I've been told that my child is breech and the safest way to deliver is by C-section. I've been given an approximate date. The edge of the world is now only a week away. Chad and I, hand in hand, will fall off the edge of the world, drawn there by this little one. There are moments that I feel so frightened that I can do nothing but cry, other moments I want it all to happen today. I can't wait to see the face of my little stranger.

I couldn't sleep last nite. I know it is simply one and many sleepless nites on behalf of this little person. I thought about the world and what a horrible place it is. The terrible things that could happen at any moment. But then I thought about all the beautful things that make up life. There are still birds in the sky, a huge and grand variety to be seen if one takes the time to look up. There is dirt to be rolled in, and rocks to find. I hope that I can help my Sprout to discover this world.

I want so many things for my child. I want this little person to have a love of literature and to have Chad's nose. I want this person to live in the world unafraid to try new things, to be daring and bold. I want my child to find the world fascinating and tell me all the things that he has learned with the wide eyes of wonder and excitement. Most of all, I want this person to have a desperate and passionate love of God. I want it to be this love that colours his whole world.

3 comments:

elnellis said...

an all that is so worth the risk and pain of childbirth, my friends. i cannot begin to describe the joy you will feel at holding that little one close to your boosoms and breathing in the smell of new life...
may God be with you this next week as you jump into a crazy, exhausting and oh so rich future with your little sprout-zilla!
please keep us up to date!
ps- did the doc give any exercises or massage ideas to help turn the baby? is c-section the only option at this point?
phil, ruth and sylas

Lian said...

The doctor did not give any suggestions to turn the baby. I had asked him about external version(?) he said he could try it, but if the cord is wrapped around the babies neck it would be dangerous and there is no way of knowing if the cord is there or not. He gave me the option to try to deliver naturally, but I think it is too risky and would rather have my baby sliced out.

Lian said...

Thanks Lydia! I actually read about your story I think on your new blog. It calmed my heart to know that other people have gone through it all too. I'm not as concerned how Sprout comes into the world, just so long as he/she makes it into the world!