Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Parenting and such thereof

You plan for 9 months. The day comes and your plans are shot to heck in beautiful sparkles of unknown-ness. All of a sudden your heart is ripped from your chest and tied to the wrist of a tiny little clueless bundle. He grins and you hurt with the beauty of it. He rolls for the first time and nothing matters in your world but that one masterful acheivement. He hurts and you experience pain beyond your wildest imaginings. He reaches for you and there is nothing but softness and warmth and baby-scents in the air. Parenting is unfathomable beauty and pain bound up in one little uncontrollable being. You can guard and protect him, but only a little. And so the wound in your chest never heals...Your heart will never return...and there's nothing you can do about it.


elnellis said...

i did not expect the get choked up at 5:30 in the morning. wow- thanks for putting words to that beautiful ache.

Lian said...

thanks for your comment Phil. Honoured to be a 5 a.m. read.

Bleassing to all 4 of you.

Anonymous said...

we oldsters say at church alot, especially during prayer requests "you live and die by your kids." did i mention most of our children are your age? and so, with pain, joy and vunerability you will proceed thru the world, not as many say, for the next 18 years...but of as long as god gives you breath. but who would have it any other way? mcm ps ericka, read you regularly and always feel the desire to reach out and hug you, such a precious girl you are