Friday, May 12, 2006

My Child

I've been told that my child is breech and the safest way to deliver is by C-section. I've been given an approximate date. The edge of the world is now only a week away. Chad and I, hand in hand, will fall off the edge of the world, drawn there by this little one. There are moments that I feel so frightened that I can do nothing but cry, other moments I want it all to happen today. I can't wait to see the face of my little stranger.

I couldn't sleep last nite. I know it is simply one and many sleepless nites on behalf of this little person. I thought about the world and what a horrible place it is. The terrible things that could happen at any moment. But then I thought about all the beautful things that make up life. There are still birds in the sky, a huge and grand variety to be seen if one takes the time to look up. There is dirt to be rolled in, and rocks to find. I hope that I can help my Sprout to discover this world.

I want so many things for my child. I want this little person to have a love of literature and to have Chad's nose. I want this person to live in the world unafraid to try new things, to be daring and bold. I want my child to find the world fascinating and tell me all the things that he has learned with the wide eyes of wonder and excitement. Most of all, I want this person to have a desperate and passionate love of God. I want it to be this love that colours his whole world.


elnellis said...

an all that is so worth the risk and pain of childbirth, my friends. i cannot begin to describe the joy you will feel at holding that little one close to your boosoms and breathing in the smell of new life...
may God be with you this next week as you jump into a crazy, exhausting and oh so rich future with your little sprout-zilla!
please keep us up to date!
ps- did the doc give any exercises or massage ideas to help turn the baby? is c-section the only option at this point?
phil, ruth and sylas

erk said...

The doctor did not give any suggestions to turn the baby. I had asked him about external version(?) he said he could try it, but if the cord is wrapped around the babies neck it would be dangerous and there is no way of knowing if the cord is there or not. He gave me the option to try to deliver naturally, but I think it is too risky and would rather have my baby sliced out.

The Crystal Sea said...

erica, it often happens that towards the end of the time, the lord, who has formed the wee one, also gives it a signal to make the turn towards home. it usually happens spontaniously, and feels real weird. it would be a valid prayer to ask god to turn him aright. and more fun for you. in either case, its a rush and not to be feared. why else would we end up so often in the troes of childbirth, over and over, were it not the very best of what we were created to be, parents of a little man. god bless we will be praying for you 3 as he makes his decent.mcm

Lydia said...

hi erk? this is aaron nicholson's wife! i had to comment b/c i went through a very similar situation. planned on home birth... realized only a few weeks before that baby was breech. was scheduled for external version but noah came a few days too soon. had to grieve and let go of hopes of a home birth... but just to encourage you, if it ends up being a c/s, it was still an amazing experience. i loved every minute and have only wonderful memories. and i just have to trust that God was looking out for noahs safety! best best wishes to you!

erk said...

Thanks Lydia! I actually read about your story I think on your new blog. It calmed my heart to know that other people have gone through it all too. I'm not as concerned how Sprout comes into the world, just so long as he/she makes it into the world!